is blogger kinda ma counselor?

yes. i feel so. i have come to know that though i dont get here as often as i wish and all the i times i actually want to, the occasion mostly falls when i am feeling dump and worse than when i am at my good moods that rarely peeps in. i cant call this place my friend because a friend should be the who you would rush to share both ups and downs. but with holding its share only with the above mentioned times, i prefer to name this spot of mine as my 'COUNSELOR'.

never ever..

never ever knew would have days like these.. its worsen.. the utmost. its killing the already dead.. it is not just what i am going through right away. but the fact that is very well screened right in front that all my upcoming days has to be so. i can't handle or take it anymore. have had enough. i know there is noway to get out of this spell.. can say the maze that has no end point.. i am out of masks to sport here after. the reality dominates. it has took over the whole of me. hate it the most.. hate everything..

imperfect me...

imperfect me...
it is titled so as this post is a self realization note of myself of all the times i remember. i remember means, right from the age of 3 as i am a heavy holder\loader of memories. had actually gone through too many options for the title. with all the recollections of myself in the full length of my stay and acknowledging the deepest me, i had titles like bad, ugly and the worst, self realization, the other side and so on in the list. but at last i felt a simple word would fit in better.

to begin with a wider view, i have to remind that almost the entire of us do not indeed realize who we are , what we need or even what we are up to. and when it is personal, reality always falls out of focus. and to point out, what is right and what not is left to our private view only up to an extend. but that is completely forgotten in this fast paced going. kindness, love and care have become some of the limited editions of today's human condition. the intense essence of living is almost extinct and all kinds of fake substance are believed to be the essentials of survival in the name of practicality. watching movies like tare zameen par and anbe sivam stirs your inner most self leaving you with a transparent view of the basics to a complete person and actual living. still, the race gives its call and we are pulled towards our commitments and competitions to mark our foot prints in the history. and in the pull, completeness falls back.

whatever, the title of this post absolutely claims personally and what i feel i genuinely am. and this is a matter of fact that i have started catching upon only in the recent times. from deep within and with all my conscience i declare that i have turned even the utmost rotten part of me at several situations of this twenty five years of journey. there have been times when nothing was cared or seemed to matter in my world, from both sides. mine and the people around me. that was the way i have gone through most of my life span. gratitude, loyalty, kindness, love, ethics. i had no definition for these words. to put it in other words and to come up with the fact, it can even be said as, i had none to give one.. life has not been kind to me and so was i to all.. never knew the destination which automatically did not put me under any kind of pressure or force to chose the path. elements that mattered to me the most and considered to be the essential part of living and could not do without but unfortunately was not blessed with, made me run in search of all the while and clocked up my whole space, keeping me apart from the standard lifestyle. the bitter part of this status was that i never let anyone know what i was going through in real as i had no one who had time for me and so with no other choice, i wore not just a single mask to keep me off from the world, but a ton that i pathetically had to, even after realizing none of it fitted me.. one factor i want to particularly be detailed about is with the phase no one who had time for me. i consider myself that much cursed and damned for not just i was defected with complications but in and all of my private society and situations were put under the same darkness. hopeless and helpless was my world. no ray of positiveness. despite the fact that i was accompanied with all fair and decent convenience, advantages and bonds, i was not fortunate enough to avail all of its resources. sometimes having everything doesn't indeed mean you have it all. blessed are the ones who possess every bit of it just simple as that!

although i have seemed to be an active individual in daily activities, i always have truly been left all alone with my inner self right from I've known. fighting within me., with me., for me., to be me. the mission almost became an impossible one to succeed. it still is and seems like will always be.. yet, the battle and action never did take a break and has nearly not just become a part of me, but has completely jammed me full. comparatively, i am far fitting and exceptional in this two years time than ever before. again, that doesn't mean i am acceptable. though not through behavior or activities, it has taken an intimate root that can be thoroughly sensed and felt. all the shattering, disheartening, ruins, confusions, depressions, nuisances and mishaps that i am responsible for, do deserve my apologies. but then, expressions that fall out of time express nothing. and at times, leave an unexpected effect. estimating all the reactions, i have left behind the past.

schooling the facts and the bottom line of my survival has been such a burdensome course that is going to ever last.. thus swallowing the indigestible, i am on the serious move through which i wish at least not to mess up or make it uneasy for the rest anymore. the repenting, hopeless, worthless, disgusting, unacceptable, corrupted, sinful creature in short i am the imperfect me.

feather in the cap!

that defines the state award that i bagged for the best female dubbing artist of the year 2007 for the movie mirugam.. well, then this post must clasp my experience with this dub and my emotion about scoring it.. if that is what is your expectation is, it is for sure going to land you in disappointment.. but trying my best to relate to this post leaves me with a little words..

the movie.. i have already worked with director sami and so it was easier to catch up with the rhythm.. abundant scope to reveal my talents.. hope i have made best use of it.. and about the award.. it was not a all of a sudden surprise nor was i driven into cloud nine.. was actually asked for the list of the movies that i have rendered my voice in the year 2007 and 2008.. and so i knew that i would surely get through.. though i had a number of powerful ones lined up from my own record, my firm hope was the movie poo.. as every field has its own dispute,the domestic affair was not a shock for me.. glad! that was the only feel that i had when i knew it was announced. and for a movie that took loads of my effort made me feel it a little more.. nothing more or less than that.. but the post effect of it made me understand a lots more..

the calls, the messages, the wishes.. most from people who are not even in the contact list of my mobile.. ones who have really lost being in touch.. some wholehearted.. a lot fake.. i am actually blessed with this power of making out the difference and to keep off them.. and so that stood as an example for the taste of success can gain you people around.. that was great and a must lesson.. the next is the identity it has shelled me with.. i am not a kind who wants to stamp my mark where ever i go or show off my existence in the field.. i maintain a low profile.. always.. so am still in the process of gelling with my new image.. nevertheless, i not going to take it to my head!

the attempt to recognize its result with my mental and private being has also let me identify my pathetic life span wider.. though i have never planned my life or even wished for a sort of, i am sure that this is not what i lack or need.. i could not picture it perfect.. but all i could make out is this is not it.. still, as I've learned that this plot is not just my play ground but also for the people around me, i am compelled to accept without any options left.. being a part of happiness, for the happy beings around me, is the only happiness that this being could have.. happily ever after..!

at last...

and so i am here after a long gap.. actually i have been trying to make my presence here several times. but i don't know why, it took me to a blank state of mind all the while i took the attempt.. finally, i won the blues and am commencing my come back.. nothings meaty.. just the same.. but as usual, have had various fears, feelings, thoughts, states and experiences.. after all, that is what is i am and if that is missing i would go mad! i sometimes wonder why i seem to be this much complicated.. why i think too much? there is so much happening within all the while.. imaginations, conclusions, realizations, visualizations, assumptions, analysis, assumes, judgments... complicated to the core.. i strongly believe that i am a real abnormal being. i wish i could have been ignorant, innocent and empty headed rather than holding the wisdom that will be left unexploded forever.. but i can't change the way i am and i don't truly want to, unless it plays all its pranks only with me and as far as it doesn't trouble my surrounding..

so mentioning about fear.. should say that it is a state of mind that has not occupied me mostly.. even at times when i undoubtedly deserved it, i have had this blind boldness alternating most of the times.. and bringing up this to my conscience now, is helping me out to find one of the reasons for my hatred towards the person i am today.. well, i think i have to work out about this in time.. i guess i will do.. so back about my feel of fear.. all of a sudden my life seemed to take a fast forward in my mind and it was a total empty.. future holds nothing for me.. it was a long time truth that stroke me very late as it was happens to most of my cases.. and realizing that i can do nothing about it is what has driven me insane.. but exactly from the beginning, this has been my position.. handling it was never easy and neither will be.. just have to take it as i always have..

blue - the disaster

though my choice was wake up sid, happened to watch blue as it was kanna's preference.. such a waste of time.. i really can't understand how they could get down into a project that is the highest budget Indian movie on date without an good script.. nothing was interesting other than the audience attraction and expectation which also went in vain as the reason is mentioned above.. an unbelievable masala with nothing to hold back the viewers in seat.. very slow narration and poor screen play as they have made up the story just keeping the underwater treasure concept in mind i guess.. with a fresh and innovative concept, they could have made up lots of good stuffs.. soo many top class technicians have failed to do justice.. totally, a disaster..

random thoughts - childhood

i have so many memories that stay alive in my mind always.. lots which may seem very boring yet that has marked its impact.. so to make easier, i just thought of splashing it off with a sub title that refers to a period in my life span.. now, as i am to start with childhood as my first sub title in the random thoughts list, it will have memories of my school life and incidents before my teenage.. i will have no space to put down all that i have in my mind.. but sure that this little, will be a very long one.. so here it goes..

* i am very good at remembering things.. not always. but can say that the ones that i really want to.. i have so many memories right from the age of 3.. i don't think it is possible with everyone..

* to get on with one of my oldest memories, i remember how one of my family person used to sow ill thoughts about my mom at the age of three or so and the result of it that made me stay away from my mom.. those were the times when i was off my home and only used to get back once in a week or so. the times my mom used to come to take me home after her whole day packed schedule and the way i used to act as if i am far asleep.. infinite times of calls that i have avoided.. so much.. i feel very sorry and ashamed of my behavior.. but at that age i was helpless.. sorry ma.. really am.. (the so called family member is no more a person in my world)
(this was also one of the main reasons why i don't let god be a priority in my life)

* when i was in my second standard, i was famous in my class for horror stories.. once the bell rings for break, all the class will surround me to hear my stupid build up stories.. this led to a mother of a girl complaining to the class teacher that her daughter fell sick and was not able to sleep all night.. though a complaint, it was a kind of compliment to my story telling skills..!

* right from i was in my pre school standards, i had music period in my school.. our music master used to play rhymes while we sing along.. i used to watch his fingers playing the chords and would try it later which made me familiar with the other students.. that was when my music journey started i guess..! hahaha..

* discipline.. this word was well maintained until i was in school and one of the most important aspects i miss these days.. still trying to catch up..

* hindi was one subject that i always kept off from.. the only reason for it was my concern subject teacher.. she was a very partial person a rude one too.. that made me grow hatred towards the language itself and i would lack marks only in this subject.. otherwise i was a bright student.. this experience has made me learn that how important a teacher is and how much this person could influence in a child's future..

* i was known for my drawing skills right from my fourth standard.. i have had loads of appreciation from many and it has become one of my firm passions..

* once when i was late to school i was made to stand out of the class along with many other who were late too.. i was in my fifth standard then and my teacher's name was Mrs.Alma.. everyone were questioned the reason why they were late.. each came up with reasons like traffic, bus delay and so on and were been punished.. when it was my turn i came with an answer saying that i woke up late in the morning.. the teacher appreciated me for being honest though it was a lame excuse.. and the term end, i had a remark referring that am a honest child in my report card.. i don't know how true that is, but i will say that i am honest to some extent..

* red is my favorite color.. and the reason is that it has been associated with me since i was a kid.. in school we were put into four groups that had a name and color to identify each.. i was in St.Catherines, the red group.. i worked hard for my group as all are performances earned points for it.. it used to give me happiness that i have contributed for the success of my team.. since then, no matter what i am so particular about the shade..

* dance.. as i am trained in barathanatyam, no wonder i had many to admire my dancing art.. when i was in seventh, we had a state level inter school cultural and i alone composed the dance for a performance which included the whole class.. it gained me a lot of fame in my school..!


that is me

* Archana.. i was crazy about this girl during my school days.. i could not make out an explanation why.. but it was a kind of silly feeling..

* it seems that i was a photo freak when i was a kid..! it is said that once i was called for a snap, i would rush into the dressing room, make over myself and pose with all cheese..!



* TV and movies were one of favorite pass times then.. no matter what is going on, i would sit soo close to TV and keep watching until my eyes start flowing with tears.. maybe, this this is the reason why i hate to watch it now.. too much of anything goes in vain in some point..

* all of a sudden when i was in my fourth standard, i started missing my mom as i was not staying with her at that time and was weeping one whole night.. the next day i called her and said that i wanted to be with her.. she said that she would not be able to accommodate with all the facilities which i was provided then.. but as i insisted her to take me home even it would be tough for me, i was back home.. though not easy, we both were much happier together..


miss you mom

* i had this akka called Vanaja as my tuition teacher.. she was such a sweet, cute, friendly, talented, naughty and talented girl.. she was good at soo many things.. the rapport between she and mother was awesome.. they were a lovely family.. i have had soo many joyful moments in their place.. rangoli, cards, carom, business, cooking, dance.. both she and her mom were masters of these games and arts.. we would watch WWF all the while.. she was a good teacher too. we got trained in barathanatyam together.. love you akka..


vanaja akka

* was in my first standard then..myself and vanathi were late to school one day and we both were classmates, area mates and as well rickshaw mates.. we decided to get back home as we were frightened of our class teacher.. we took off at 9a.m.. we some what knew the route and started walking up.. right at 1, as hunger rang it's bell we sat in a corner of the platform and finished off our lunch and hooked up with our journey again.. when we almost reached our area, we had both our family people running towards us who started beating us.. then was it we knew it was 5.30 in the eve.. we took such a long time to reach back home that was just one bus stop ahead..!

new arrivals of elegance..!

this week has had one of my best shopping sessions.. a total number of four silk sarees together has given me a kind of contentment for my desire for sarees.. they are always in and looks great on anyone and everyone and i am not an exception.. i love dressing up and especially sarees have been in my passion list since i was old enough to drape one.. and every time i do, i get to hear a number of compliments..

silk turns any ordinary one into an exclusive piece.. royal, elegant and perfect.. so without any hesitation i decided to go on with silk sarees this time as my birthday gift option and diwali outfit.. pretty good collection, should say.. can't wait to get myself dressed in..!

golu celebrations..!

it was all kanna's idea.. he was very much into having the golu this year.. reason one was athu, as he would enjoy it for sure.. second, kanna loves to have guests and friends at home and this would really be a cause for it.. i was not that keen in the thought because it i knew that all the work stuffs would end up in my hands.. and economical reasons were also in my mind..

at last it was decided just three days before the festival season could start and it commenced with the shopping of the dolls.. it kept us occupied for 3 days to finish of with all the shopping.. we invited some of our close friends of which most made it up to be a part of our festive season.. i was literally drained at the end of every day as i had to work on with too many tasks all alone.. but its occasions like these that let us have our close ones near.. it was good to see our place filled.. and mama is a must to be mentioned.. without him it could not have been this much special.. he put all his effort and interest in making it a traditional one.. his presence made us feel a family..

kichu, vichu, shan, sri, srividhya, ashok, vembu, priya, gayathri, rose, vijay, rajesh, revathy, pooja, babloo, udhyam mama, vennila akka, athai, rajesh sir and his wife, ajjima, sangeetha, bala, ragulan, sham, balaji km and his mom, akka, mama, appu, vara, rajesh mom and dad, sri kutty and kanchu, balaji,ragu and soo many.. made it a happening event.. awaiting for the next season of fun, friends, snacks and work..!

century.. and counting more..!

with the release of Eeram i have turned 100 movies old which literally means that i have been the voice of the female leads for more than 100 movies now.. and to my surprise i have coincidentally had the total feel of contentment for my work only with this film.. this century has not only been a count of numbers.. each and every count has been a powerful tool in my growing and learning sessions.. working with soo many directors of which some are truly inspiring and loaded with talents has helped me acquire the nuances of my art and to amend my errors..

and one fact that i am really proud of with this count is that most numbers of this have left me with the chance of lending my voice for performance oriented roles rather than just being a part of a successful movie or a big budget/banner one.. stuffing a character with life has always been a challenging task that has made my work interesting..

filled with contentment, satisfaction and pleasure and clear of not to make pride my choice, i have now passed century.. and counting more..!

24 years young..!

13th of September was the day.. neither celebration nor special.. the best thing was to hear my athu wishing me happy b'day.. i was on top of the world when he uttered those words in his own language..! thank you athu doggie..! was to erode for an unavoidable reason.. kind of an usual day.. but much boring.. felt incomplete as usual.. just another year of all my routine schedules..

eeram..

and i am the voice of sindhu menon in this romantic suspense horror/thriller.. have not watched too many of my movies on big screen as i don't get attached to my work personally.. but right from the start this film created an eagerness to watch out for.. only very few of my other movies have made me feel so.. finally after watching the premier, i felt so much satisfied and complete with my work that i usually don't find in most of my other works even if others do.. of late, i have had soo many good offers and opportunities to showcase my talents with excellent characters coming my way through out..

priya in ullam ketkume, barathi in abcd, azhagamma in mirugam, ammu in ammuvagiya naan, meera in kadhalil vizhunden, saroja in pattiyal, abi in abiyum naanum, mari and seeni in poo, angel in laadam, shobikannu in pasanga, ramya in eeram.. all these characters have had my best work and will always be the most cherished ones of all.. at last, i have started believing that i am worth it..!

at this moment..

life has been the best teacher in my case.. it has not only made me realise what i truly am from within, but what everyone are and could be.. faith, respect, truth, love, passion, anger, depression, happiness, trust.. meanings of terms like these have been changing by time and i think i have almost found what it could figuratively mean.. nobody is perfect.. and i too am nobody.. but that will never be a blocker in my way to reach it.. i could actually realise the transformation of me into a whole new one.. after all, this was the real image of myself right from the start.. the process has began and is shaping up my mind and soul.. sooner or later, i will reach to what i am looking for..

ganapathi bappa moriya..!

was a packed day for me! planned to wake up early at 6 and set my alarm too.. but it was at 7.30 i happened to realise that it was dawn.. but i am not to be blamed as it is at 2 or 3 , i mostly get to go to bed.. and it was as usual on this day too.. as it was a delay, all my plans got collapsed.. but some what managed and it turned out a perfect festive.. i just love to get into the rangoli art and it was a day that gave me a chance to get back after a long gap.. had to sweep and mob and it is not a new task as it is one of the things that falls in my everyday scedule.. then had to wash the vessels as the maid was on leave.. the menu for the day was a little longer.. sweet kozhukattai, paal kozhukattai, sundal, vadai, sambar and potato curry.. athu is now a grown boy and he joined kanna in the purchase of the ganesha idol this year! we had few of our friends with us and after the formal pooja, we had our lunch, a nap, played shuttle and spent the evening with athu doggie! actually i enjoyed the day..! though i am not a total worship freak, i make it a point not to punch it on others.. so i go with almost all the celebrations and customs..
i don't pray mostly.. and if i do, it was always for others.. and this year too, it was for all my loved ones i took my prayers to the ears of ganesha.. may god grant them all and let everyone be happy..!

tough times..

was actually out of reach for a period of almost twenty days as hathway broadband service providers vanished all of a sudden from the field and it took a lot of our time to switch off to another.. going through the comparison of schemes, keeping the budget in mind and tracking the speed level... was a hectic time.. at last, its bsnl now.. and to add more to my frustration, i lost my mobile.. it was a huge loss and i could not believe it actually was missing and i was driven crazy.. all my contacts, messages, pictures, notes, calender details and all my other info files.. everything gone in no time.. with no other choice left, i had to go shopping for a new one.. and it was htc touch all again as i could not find any other fully loaded one at a very affordable price.. but the hardest thing to do is to load my new gadget with all my files and make it my own personal one.. started the proces and will it surely take more than a week's time to get set as i find no time or can also say that i am that lazy!

secret of success!

I am professionally a successful voice artist.. And there are a few secrets I consider, those have led me to be one.. but before I could point them out, I will have to start with an introduction, as the main focus of this note is my career.. and here is how it took off...

During my childhood, I had myself doing good with science, dance and music.. so I had these silly dreams of becoming a dance master, singer, music director and scientist, that kept changing from time to time and was not my real intention.. before I could think of molding myself seriously in the right shape, I happened to jump into this field. I never knew dubbing would become my full time vocation.. it just happened all by itself.. After all, being the daughter of an excelled dubbing artist, it was not a surprise for my circumstances to see me in the same platform.. I was not sure if I actually was enough qualified for the occupation at the time I got into it.. I did not even know if I would suit this trade.. alas, time and experience proved that I have underestimated my potential and was not aware of what I truly possessed.. and now, it is my designation that has shown me the destination and has earned me a recognition in this society.. I’ve grown soo much passionate about my work and rejoice in this employment.. ..

Destiny has played a huge part in not only guiding me to the profession in what I am today, but also in shaping my career.. but it is also through dedication and hard work I have proved my mettle. Days have gone when just four or five females ruled the industry. it has become highly competitive with people pouring into the field.. Variation is a must in this fast growing and moving generation and thus preference has become wide open in terms of fresh voices. Stardom, fame and success is too considered in the acceptance of your talents.. I still don’t understand in what way these qualifications help out for a voice to be selected. The reason should be either sentiment that makes no sense, or the reach towards publicity stunts.. and it is to those who come under this list, opportunities favor most of the times..

Beyond all the competition and limitations, it is a very tough job to achieve a firm placement for thyself.. it has now been six years into this field, and I am still working in perfecting my talents in the art.. Though I have a family background in this same media, neither did I make use of it nor did it help in my success.. I was keen and clear that only my performance and talents should preach my name.. I started off just for the sake of making my living and to fulfill my needs.. but then, day by day it occupied me, and became a part of myself.. it stood as a representation of something I was capable of.. and today, I am a proud full fledged voice artist..

If I begin digging what made me possible, I find some genuine reasons for my progression.. that is what should have been the secret of my success, I guess! “A fool becomes an intelligent, when he understands that he is a fool.. a genius becomes a fool when he believes that he is a genius..! Honestly, I know my stuff and never overestimate myself... but I definitely am doing much better than when I started off.. I learn soo many nuances of the art in every project I work with. though I entered as a raw material into this industry, I have built myself into a fair professional. Luck may come your way.. but it is you who should create a limelight through it and draw focus to you.. every time i am presented with challenge i know it is an oppourtunity to demonstrate my abilities.. confidence and talents are the aspects that I have caught with success and experience.. and the best part of me that I myself admire the most is that I neither tend to imitate others nor showcase my individuality.. I don’t hold my own trend and modulation and thus it ends up in a realistic voice tone and mode for the characterization of any role I render my voice for.. I try to give sound to what the director has in mind and it has worked wonders.. I find soo many people saying that they can’t identify my voice and that is the best appreciation I could ever earn, I believe.. mostly, I feel as a fresher.. I try to give my best shot everytime.. and as of now, I am more than hundred films old and am looking forward for more.. more and more challenges, success and action in the transformation process of a perfectionist, professionally..

caution : artist at work

i am a crafty girl too.. i've been a self training artist right from i was at my third.. calling myself a concrete queen, imagination factory or a master of masterpieces would not be fair.. but i have tried to be an artist from my heart and am some what good in in dabbing an art or stroking a pencil sketch that i come across.. so just thought of piling a few of my creative mess that i actully hold.. now take a look at what i've done..!

e ..

can't take anymore...

i'm actually not in the mood of blogging.. i am literally broken into tears.. but still i am here because this is the place where i can spill everything that i have taken all the way long and could take no more.. i promise that i have never ever wanted to mess up anybodies life and happiness or play with others feelings.. i respect everyone's role and am not a person who finds excitement in others downfall or enjoys their defeat.. i try to be a good person, not only for what the view is, but from within.. and yes. i cannot say that it worked out always to my favor. at times, if i happen to hurt others by my deeds or words without my knowledge, i always feels bad for it and ashamed of my behavior. i accept that i am not a very sportive person, who mingles right away or is there for everyone who reach out to me.. i have build a wall to keep others off me. i have only a very few ones whom i pay attention to, and stay far from people i don't care much for..

even then, when i hear of speeches about me, that are not true, it really really hurts a lot.. and i don't know the reason why.. this is one thing i have always faced since i've known. though i tend to take it straight, i am still a normal soul.. this could be a simple matter.. but to me, it is not the same way. i take everything to my heart and all this has left me with a broken one. maybe they are people who have fun doing so or just do it to kill time.. i don't know how they could act as though they love us immensely when they actually speak soo much ill about us at our back.. what kind of a human could they be? maybe they should be out of their sense that they are actually one.. and the worst thing i've ever felt was, i have had no one to question for me.. even the ones who are not on the right track, have their backup neither from their parents nor from their family and friends.. but in my case, i have always been left alone as i really am.. and the funniest part is that all the above mentioned backups have been in the opposite side to join hands.. with no one by my side, all this has made me question myself a lot of times if i truly am a soul worth living.. you no, what is use of your life when your contribution is nothing to anyone.. living for yourself is one kind.. finding your life in others love for you is another.. i belong to the latter.. not exactly, but i am trying to take everything positive and imagine that this loneliness has made me a better me and console myself.. afterall, life is nothing when you get everything..

the reason why...

i really do want to make clear the reason why i started blogging.. it is neither to bring an attention in my circle nor to let myself be an open book for all.. it is not a habit too.. it is for me to know what i am.. that helps me in making myself a better me, a better human.. so it doesn't matter in putting together soo many interesting articles in my blog spot or just write about anything and everything that happens or has happened to me.. incidents and memories that i actually feel for and want to make a note of, i write down.. and i make sure that i don't let my inspirations to make up my posts.. all my writings are purely the essence of what comes to my mind.. so if anybody finds my posts boring, sorry i can't help it..!
i am what i am..!

off to school..

yes. it is all about my school days. church park. a well recognized girls school that holds its own reputation.. and i don't know why all of a sudden i wanted to pen down a post on this heading. but those days just knocked my head and right away i am starting...

every person has a unique experience and a story to tell about the passage through their student life. school is a place where all of us learn to care and share. "School" is just not a place, but it is a large dome made up of discipline, knowledge, love and affection. i think in everybody's success, school plays a key role. though i did not complete my schooling, i still have quiet a load to bring up. that was a period of time when i had lots of people around me. my teachers, friends, enemies (the ones i thought so).. soo many interesting characters..

i would not say i really really enjoyed, nor i miss my school life. but whenever it comes up to my mind, the only thing i feel is that how nice it would be, if only everyone could be a kid forever. fearless life, cheerful days, the true innocence, no commitments, and the chance of being the real you, that you truly don't intend to.

getting back to the topic, my school.. i just love it for soo many reasons that have no reasons..! being serious., i learned what discipline is, the difference that education can make in a person's life, divinity (that i'm far off from), the support of having friends..
and for the little i no, the major contribution was from this place. the spacious compound, our play ground, the chapel, main hall, basketball court, classrooms, canteen.. they are evergreen memories.. as i've already mentioned in one of my previous posts, my life was not a picture perfect one. but if i am to point out one of the best features in this imperfect picture, it would be my school life for sure. i should thank god for bringing in such a phrase in my life.

ms.linda, mrs.jean, mrs.soundarya, mrs.babra, mrs.alma, mrs.peters, mrs david, mrs.rita..they were all my teachers, to name a few.. and i should say that i was gifted to have them.. a teacher's image will be a reflection in all the students, in some way or the other. as of a saying, first comes the mother, second the father, next the teacher and then the god.. i'd have to tell that my teachers were to be considered first sometimes, as i have spent a lot more time with them than the first and the second ones of the saying. they have been soo inspiring and one of the important reasons why i try to be a good human. their kindness, guidance, care, love, patience and all the good elements, carve them to perfection..

coming to friends.. hmmm...what to say? it would sound a little weird to hear that i had no best friend! yup! but that does'nt mean i had no friends.. during my kinder garden, it was margret.. she was my dearest.. we were soo opposite.. and now i no why it is said that opposites attract! and then it was archana.. i have to say.. i was soo much crazy about this girl! i would do anything to get her attention.. later, i had a very own small gang.. kirthika, angel, archana, sridevi, margret, heba, Celestina and some more.. it was total fun! and a girl named salma.. i would never forget her.. i was in my third standard and used go to the chapel (church) every lunch hour and keep shedding tears.. this sweet girl who happened to be my classmate noticed this and came up to me one day and asked what the problem was and that she would help me out.. that was really touching.. love you salma! and i did consider a few girls as my enimies.. might be because of their over smart behavior.. and they were all the toppers of the class.. i still don't understand why people put themselves on height when they reach a position.. no matter in winning life, without winning hearts..!

about me... no big difference from what i am now.. and one example to prove that sentence was my punctuality.. i was an unpunctual right from then.. would try to be the center of attraction.. and it was not that hard as i mostly find it as my natural gift! i don't know why, but i've heard lots of girls saying that they like me soo much.. and for soo many reasons! sometimes for just what i was.. maybe it was because i was an all rounder.. and i'm serious! i was a good sport and would be a part of anything i could possibly be. i was a pretty good athlete, not bad with studies, trained dancer, fair enough artist, friendly, sporty and the list goes on.. even teachers had a soft corner for me.. and i was atleast lucky with this! most of my talents were recognized and appreciated and that made me feel on top of the world.. but then, things didn't get in place and i was just able to complete my 9th in that heavenly place..

whatever, i love my school and am thankful for being a student of church park.. infact, all will feel the same for theirs, as that is where we have the best memories of our golden days, childhood!
my school was, is and always will be the best.!